Once would have been mildly amusing. Twice means we've got a big, sticky, fishy problem. This week, a massive molasses spill near Honolulu has killed thousands of fish. 233,000 gallons of molasses were released into the water from a faulty molasses supply pipe. It was only a few months ago that a Mexican molasses spill (shown above) killed hundreds of tons of fish.
Some big questions need to be answered:
1. Who's using all this molasses that we actually need tanker ships to carry the stuff? Is there a giant, secret community of Civil War veterans somewhere wanting to sweeten their hard-tack and chicory coffee?
2. Does the molasses industry need greater oversight? Maybe we need a "Department of Molasses, Syrup and Fudge?" (The DMSF)
3. Have we become too dependent on foreign molasses? Maybe the "Big Molasses" cartel is conspiring to keep supply low and prices high!
4. Isn't there a market for sweet, slightly sticky, "sun-ripend" fish?
photo: Getty Images